what did i say? exams = bloggin'

so, this is what i've wanted to share for a while but never had the chance to b/c it wasn't exams. haha... this was a lesson or an epiphany that i've been learning for a while since reading week: i've come to the realization that in my Christian walk with God, i've been struggling to put God first in my life... it's not quite because of school or relationships, but rather because i've lost focus of the God i serve.

last night, during my Cell Group devos/Bible study, we looked at the passage in Luke 10:38-42 about Martha and Mary when they invited Jesus into their home. for me, I've been feeling like Martha for a while... and I came across this realization on February 11th, 2005. In the afternoon of that particular Friday in February, I was sitting in a room with three others having a Nomination Committee meeting. In that meeting, we were going through a list of people that were nominated by members of the fellowship. However, when my name came up... I said that I didn't want to serve by being nominated for a position next year. I had been thinking what I would say for a while... would I want to serve? Didn't I know that the position I'm serving in now usually leads to a position higher up? Yes, but despite that... I really didn't want to serve. The reason behind that: I was becoming like Martha - too busy to realize that all I need to do is spend time with Him. One thing that was brought up yesterday was that Jesus never rebuked Martha for doing things but rather that she was distracted by all the preparations (v.39) and was also worried and upset (v.41). I realized that although I wasn't necessarily worried and upset, I was definitely distracted. Luckily for me, that particular Friday was also the Friday that my fellowship was leaving for Retreat. The theme for Retreat was Passion for God. (As I mentioned in an earlier post, it was reinforced at retreat that my passion for God had somehow become a passion for serving and being busy for God. It was as though I forgot what it meant to be passionate for God, and God alone.) Once again, these ideas were reinforced last night at the Bible Study... God never told us not to be involved in service, but not to be distracted away from God when we are engaged in those things. For the past week, I've really been praying for God to show me where it is He wants me to serve next year. I know that Passion for God usually stems into serving God and although I am going to work on building that passion for Him, I really want to explore new ways in serving Him... I just didn't want HUGE responsibilities anymore. I still don't know where it is but I'm excited to see the new opportunities in which I can serve God and support the ministries that other brothers and sisters are involved in. YAY!

Now back to reading journal articles!