the cost of discipleship -- thoughts on the book by dietrich bonhoeffer

i've wanted to read this book for a long time. and i thought, i need to share the things i've been learning from it. so here is my first thought from chapter one.

"Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, Communion without confession, absolution without personal confession. Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate.

Costly grace is the treasure hidden in the field; for the sake of it a man will gladly go and sell all that he has. It is the pearl of great price to buy which the merchant will sell all his goods. It is the kingly rule of Christ, for whose sake a man will pluck out the eye which causes him to stumble; it is the call of Jesus Christ at which the disciple leaves his nets and follows him. Costly grace is the gospel which must be sought again and again, the gift which must be asked for, the door at which a man must knock. Such grace is costly because it calls us to follow, and it is grace because it calls us to follow Jesus Christ. It is costly because it cost a man his life, and it is grace because it gives a man the only true life. It is costly because it condemns sin, and grace because it justifies the sinner. Above all, it is costly because it cost God the life of his Son... and what has cost God much cannot be cheap for us. Above all, it is grace because God did not reckon his Son too dear a price to pay for our life, but delivered him up for us. Costly grace is the Incarnation of God." (pp. 44-5)

this really made me think of the what it means to be a Christian. it's not just a title... not just a nametag, it's a lifestyle that's worthy because so much was put on the line for me to have that name. i should treasure and value it. this is what pushed me to be a real Christian in the first place way back when i decided to take my faith seriously.

this all started with finishing the Harry Potter series. i was also finishing the last book of the Bible, Revelation, in my devotions. it all made me think of how the Order of the Phoenix was willing to die for a better wizarding world (and in some ways, Harry Potter). i wondered to myself, as a Christian in this world, am I willing to die for the truth of the Gospel? the things that Revelation talks about is pretty creepy. we already know about Satan and the power he has on this world and it's pretty sad. in fact, the Death Eaters really reminded me that even Satan's army is willing to put up a fight until the bitter end.... so I better be ready to as well. okay, post your thoughts ppl! :)

story time

two recent stories of late... :)
1) from my placement during indoor recess on monday... a dialogue:

R: Melody, are you an intern?
Mel: Yes.
R: You don't look like an intern.
Mel: What does an intern look like?
R: Like her. (She points to my classmate, a fellow intern for the special education teacher, L)
Mel: (I turn to L.) Did you hear that? You look like an intern.
L: I get that a lot. People think I'm a teenager.
Mel: Excuse me. (Point to self.) I look like a teenager! And you're married.
Mel: (To R.) Then what do I look like?
R: A teacher.
Mel: Thanks. (Her comment made me really happy.) But L is married!
R: So are you.
Mel: No, I'm not. I'm not married.
R: Yes, you are. What is your husband's name?
Mel: I don't have a husband.
R: What is your boyfriend's name?
Mel: I don't have a boyfriend.
W: Melody and her boyfriend kissing! (He proceeds to incorporate me into his drawing of mountains, where I am now on a mountaintop kissing my boyfriend.)

Anyways, throughout the rest of that half hour, more and more students became involved. I was given a wedding ring (made out of yellow paper) and taped to my finger. I was made a wedding veil (which was taped to a rubber band and stuffed around my head).

Then they proceeded to drag me out to marry Richard. (Richard is the principal.... who is married and has 3 children.) So then they decide to make me a boyfriend by drawing him on a piece of paper, colouring him and then cutting him out. "This is Dottie," they told me. Haha. I also had pictures of my wedding drawn by them.

This story made me love why I'm there. It was a bit annoying at the end when they told the whole class I was getting married... but it was cute, nonetheless. :)

2) I received a Compassion letter in the mail today. For those of you who don't know, I've been sponsoring a child in Bolivia for 6 years and this year, I got a new sponsor child. In his letter to me it said this:

"I greet you with very much love. I am sad because my mother and my relatives drink too much. I ask you please pray for them and I ask a favour please write to me and tell me how you are. Right now I am fine. I attend to the centre and I also went to visit to my uncles and I played with my cousin Luis and Melvin. I also had vacation and I did my homework. I love you very much."

Receiving a letter from my child always makes me happy, but this letter is the second letter I have ever received from him and he is telling me things that are upon his heart. I heart my child... :( If you ever feel burdened to sponsor a child, feel free to ask how my experience has been. I've loved every moment of it. :)

Perhaps more stories later...

october, homecoming 2007, and things that make my day!

(aaron, you're probably the ONLY one who reads this thing so here's your special shout-out to you! haha...)

it's been a good october so far. thanksgiving = mel tan's wedding. i was so excited to see the beautiful and godly mel tan get married. wow, i sound like a ditzy friend, but really, i'm extremely excited to see what God will continue to do through her. it was amazing just to witness the changes God has done in her life in the past 5 years and just... be able to thank God for those changes and now, she's a MARRIED woman. it was so good to see her enjoying every moment of of the wedding... not stressed, but relaxed, poised and well, so calm about this life change. i'm in awe of her! CONGRATULATIONS, MEL & WILL!

so this past weekend, i drove up to kingston for homecoming. it was interesting b/c my car was full of recent grads and i questioned myself, "why are you, melody, going to homecoming?" i realize that no matter how many people have now moved on from kingston (like myself and my cohorts), i still love kingston and the people who are still there. it IS different going to CCF and realizing you don't know 1/2 the people there and 1/4 of them, you know their face but not their names... :( BUT it's also a sense of nostalgia.
surprisingly, it was my first time down on aberdeen during homecoming. i don't know even know why i had never been down there... anyways, there were a few things that really caught my attention. it was pretty fun because it was a lot of pushing and shoving and it was the longest "walk" down aberdeen i have ever taken (it usually took me like 2 minutes to get down the street when i used to walk home from the library). thank goodness for adrian because i didn't let go of his jacket the whole time we were walking. :) anyways, at aberdeen & william, there were 2 people who were sitting at the corner reading the Bible with a flashlight. it was oddly dangerous (since ppl were tripping left, right and centre), but i was really proud of them in some sense. it was oddly dangerous, a bit weird, but i applaud them for being bold. :) the other insight i got from the sadness of reality... i looked into so many blank and empty faces as i walked down that street that day. i talked to so many friends who live for aberdeen and drinking but really, as i walked down that day, i felt that it was so empty and those faces really showed that. the glazed emotionless look, the girl hanging lifeless in the hands of her friends.... who would want to be like that? the sad thing is, they might not remember any of that... but i do. and i was sad that night.

things that make my day #1: seeing friends that i haven't seen in a long time
- going to mel tan's wedding and seeing 4 tables of queen's crew + more at the wedding ceremony
- seeing ivan on the subway
- getting surprise phone calls from people far far away (ahem, arizona and hong kong!!)

i miss my friends. i really do. can you come back yet?

I have returned to Canada for a two weeks now and I feel like I should share with you what I have learned from being in Asia for the past 2 months. God has been gracious, He reminded me of many of my weaknesses but also revealed how He is always in the big picture. Let me warn you, this will be a very long e-mail, but I hope you will be blessed as much as I have. Thanks once again for partnering with me and the team!

I found that this trip to Asia was one where God wanted me to be humbled by people and a lesson on keeping my focus on Him.

In Hong Kong , as I was doing my practicum at the International Christian School, I was humbled to hear the stories of the teachers -- to see how God brought them to Hong Kong to serve children and also make a difference to bring children into His kingdom. Unlike the Christian schools in Toronto where families are predominantly Christian, I found that many of my students had come from non-Christian backgrounds. God really opened my eyes to see the harvest in front of me. The chances you have as a teacher to make a difference in your students' lives and also create relationships with the family. During morning devotions, there would be prayer requests for the families, sometimes for specific parents, for more opportunities to speak to them about God. In the three weeks I was there, I was shown true fellowship among the teachers and gained a deeper understanding of what it meant to bring Christianity into the classroom.
In my past recent visits to Hong Kong, I also felt burdened to the people there. In a city that is booming with busyness and life, I often wondered how difficult it was to keep your focus on God. As many of you remember, I wrote about the difficulty it was to find quiet time to spend with God. But God was gracious to me. He gave me the opportunity to go to 7 different churches in the short month I was there -- some were English speaking churches in Hong Kong, some were local congregations -- but God showed to me that He is as real as ever in Hong Kong.

Prior to departure for missions, my prayer requests were for team unity and protection. God truly answered our prayers by surprising us with two additional men to join our team in China: Micky Leung and Grady Pfahl. He also protected us as a team from any serious health issues, especially for Emily, and protection from danger. God was truly teaching me a lesson on what it means to trust in Him -- that He has everything in control!

As I entered China, it was a much different world from Hong Kong, but I was once again humbled by the people. I was humbled by two families who have moved from America recently to serve the factory and its workers from America. One family arrived a few weeks before we got to the factory and will be teaching English there for 2 years. Another family has been there for a few months and has been using his skills to make a difference in the factory with the workers. I see the way that God has called them here: the testimonies that they shared with us about God's calling for them, their obedience, their step of faith, their trust in God... all these things really showed me great faith in the Lord. I was humbled by the two local evangelists who are working as recreational leaders to get to know workers. I am humbled by their dedication to bring others to Christ, to lead morning prayer meetings, to bring people to church, even though this can be considered illegal. I am humbled by the worker I met who gave up her church ministry to work alongside factory workers AS a factory worker. I am humbled by the owner of the factory who has a heart for his workers. That despite dangers, he is willing to boldly spread the gospel to those who work in his company. Please continue to keep them in your prayers. (Let me know if you would like to pray for them by name.)
I was humbled by the stories of the workers themselves. As I have begun to share with many of you, I can only be reminded of the thirst of those we encountered. That although the gospel is spreading rapidly in China, there are still so many who have not yet heard. I am reminded by the words of Oswald J. Smith: "Why should anyone hear the gospel twice if not everyone has heard it once?" I was most humbled when a worker asked me to "see" a Bible as he has only "heard of such a thing". For someone who has grown up with Bibles around the house, my eyes welled up with tears to know that for something I have taken for granted is a treasured gift by another. I continue to give praises to the Lord for the praise reports of our students reading the New Testaments we were able to leave behind, for numbers of people joining in the morning prayer meetings and church services. God is truly reaping a harvest in my motherland!

It was different returning to the Christian Mountain Children's Home in Taiwan with a new set of faces. It has been three summers since I was last there and I didn't know what to expect. A lot of familiar children and workers had left the orphanage, there has been a lot of renovations and construction, I just wasn't sure what to expect. After such an encouraging and protected time in China, we were faced with a lot of personal challenges and inner struggles in Taiwan. Our experience in China was different and it took us some time to adjust to being in a new environment together. Eventually, we were able to share our struggles and concerns with each other, but most of us were able to look back and recognize the areas that we needed to change.
In addition to the encompassing lesson of being humbled, God reminded me of the power of prayer and the faith of the founders of the orphanage, Rev. and Mrs. Yang, also known as Grandpa and Grandma Yang. They, their family and their workers have faithfully served the children that enter the Children's Home. Many times, we could sense God's presence in the orphanage as He was truly amongst the children and the workers.
There were many differences in going to the orphanage again. Three years ago, Viv and I spent a lot of time trying to be useful because they were so hospitable. Now that they recognize me, they put us to work right away. We were gardening for several of the houses, teaching English lessons, planning group games, leading children's worship, etc. God also really blessed me by allowing me to see a lot of the friends that I have met in the past. Many of these children have actually left the Children's Home (due to joining the army, moving into the workforce, studying in a different city, etc.), but for some reason, in the short 2 weeks I was there, I was able to reunite with many of them. I was so thankful! Please continue to keep Grandpa Yang in your prayers as he spent a week in the hospital while we were there (he is 98 years old!)! The Children's Choir has just left Taiwan and has begun their tour performing in Shanghai, Toronto, and various cities in the Eastern States. They'll actually be in Toronto from July 19th - 23rd so it will be a wonderful opportunity to reunite with them so quickly! Please continue to keep the choir in your prayers as they are travelling to share the word of God through music and songs. Please also keep the rest of the children who remain in the Children's Home in your prayers as there are many added chores and work to be done with 40 people missing from the orphanage!

Although this is merely a glimpse of the things I've learned, I still have many stories to share. I'm really thankful that God has allowed me to experience Asia in such an eye-opening way and I pray that He will continue to keep my eyes focused on Him. I've been challenged in many ways about the way that I choose to live my life and I know that God will continue to use those lessons to remind me of His faithfulness to me. I would love to continue to share with you how God continues to work in my life. Thank you for walking alongside of me these past two months! May God bless you!

for photo updates for those who don't have facebook, you can check out:
Picasa Web Album

i had started uploading on flickr but then i burst way over my quota. so good bye to flickr for now... you can still see it to see what i have up so far... Flickr

i'll try to keep it as updated as i can. it's going to take me a while to do all the captions.

It has been a while since I've written anything on this blog. The letter below is an e-mail to update you all about my time in Asia.
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I find time passing really quickly as I am already on my last week of practicum at the International Christian School. The school environment has been amazing with friendly teachers and lovely students. Having daily devotions with the teachers has been something that I have not experienced in any of my practicums this year. I was given the opportunity to hear the testimonies of several teachers and how God brought them to teach in Hong Kong. Other days, just having the opportunity to pray for other's requests has been a joy to partake in. I have been progressively teaching more and more time in the classroom and will be teaching full days for my last week here. We have done a study on Japan and I am starting a unit on Fairy Tales this week. As with any classroom, there are those sneaky kids but even those are so loveable. I will miss these children when I leave! :) Please pray that I will have the endurance to last through this following week as I have become quite exhausted since I arrived in Hong Kong. Please also keep my host teacher, Karen, in your prayers. Her husband, a trombonist, is currently having auditions for various orchestras around the world and she is unsure of where she will be next year. She loves HK and have taught here for 6 years. She would love to stay but this whole situation requires her and her whole family (2 young kids) to learn to fully rely on God for their future.

It has been difficult to spend time with God alone in this busy city. I'm feeling convicted about the lack of time spent in preparation for China and Taiwan. I really desire to enter in with a heart ready to hear God's voice and be ready to serve those that we meet. This morning, we had the opportunity to have breakfast with the pastor who will be bringing us into China. He gave us a better picture of what we will be doing. We also met our mystery team member. Most of you should know how we were praying for a "male" to join our female team. Greg was that "answer" to our prayers. But God's grace is sufficient. He brought along another male member from Vancouver, Micky, who will be joining us while we are in China. I have been reading our missions homework chapter on team building. From the beginning, I've seen going with close friends as both a blessing and a challenge. God is really challenging me that as with any team, there could be conflicts. Please pray that I will be reminded to love my team members with God's love and by doing so, be a testimony of God's love to those that we serve. Please pray that we will be able to get to know Micky in the two weeks that we are there and that we will be able to effectively serve together in ministry.

For continued updates on our adventures in Asia, we have created a blog.
http://megetrip.blogspot.com

I will hopefully be sending more updates within the next two weeks but once we embark on missions, we will only be using that blog as our primary source of updates.

exhausted beyond exhaustion. march break madness.
oh my goodness, i had a jam packed week since i last posted. the whirlwind of events unfolding in my life is surely a testimony of how busy i can really be... although i have a very little bit of time to breath, i really shouldn't be blogging... haha.

i had my first march break in 4 years. and i wish it was 2 weeks long! but alas, it is not and i will not complain about having a week off because boy, did i need it.

when they call march, "march madness" because of the ncaa basketball tourney, i really think they meant it for all us busy people too. march has just been mad. i had the busiest month of my whole year so far. and getting extensions on papers really means just another reason to procrastinate... but if they weren't extended, i would have just not slept.

(i wrote the part above 3 days ago because i realized, i really didn't have time to blog...)

anyways, i had posted last weekend about my epitome of awkwardness. for those of you who know the story, i will not recount it here on blogspot. but yeah, update on that, i'm WAY better guys. :)

on sunday, i went jogging with adrian and james fong. honestly, i have not jogged since grade 8/9 when i used to run around the block for gym class. anyways, those of you who have been to adrian's house should know that his house is at the end of this winding street that goes uphill. let's just say, running uphill against the wind on the first day of the new daylight savings schedule was not a great thing. by the time i got to the end of the street, i felt like i was done with. let's just say, we ended up walking to cummer (not far from adrian's house) and they decided to run circuits up and down cummer from bayview to like... the end of the killer hill before leslie. oh my word. the boys ended up running it 3 times, while i ended up doing it twice... but i walked most of the way. let's just say, i was sore for like 3 days afterwards.

on monday, i had the privilege of eating dim sum with natalie. it was fun... i hadn't caught up with her for a long time. then at night, i had dinner with an auntie, that was fun. i ended up sleeping over at emily's house with steph and we had lots of fun watching a fob movie and just chatting it up.

tuesday morning, we woke up and made our own pancakes. it was really fun! :)

then i just hung out with steph all afternoon, developing pictures at costco and planning the menu for our psyc crew gourmet dinner party. the menu: vietnamese spring rolls, chicken cordon bleu, stuffed potatoes and apple blossoms. it was really fun to make and the food looked good but i think we're not really the gourmet type. hot pot anyone?

wednesday/thursday: TC 2007, need i say more? well, i wanted to elaborate on God's grace for me those two days. i really enjoyed being a counsellor for this group of young people and just watching them experience God was amazing. to see the fervor that there is in young people to examine their own life and follow the calling God has for them. to see the tears streaming down their faces as they rededicate or step out in faith to answer God's burden for their family, their city or this nation. it reminds me of when i stood up in TC to surrender myself to God. what a pleasant reminder...

friday was just spent writing the paper that was due the day before. i spent all day sitting in front of my computer writing and not doing anything at the same time. after nearly 10 hours of sitting there, i finally completed my 4-page double-spaced paper. i also feel like it was one of the worse papers i have ever written.

saturday was our farewell fiesta for faith. as i mentioned in a previous post, faith is moving to mexico early april so we wanted to throw her a mexican farewell party. it was a lot of fun just seeing people in mexican character but also to celebrate her new life with her. we gave her an early birthday cake too since she won't be back to celebrate with us. we'll miss you faith!



sunday was spent making announcements in all three services at church about VBC at my church this summer. it was good eating lunch with Daniel Fellowship people... my first time ever on a Sunday afternoon. then in the afternoon, i took class 3 in my T.E.A.C.H. course at church. it's really turning out to be a very interesting course. i had a paper due but didn't get it done on time so i spent sunday evening at emily's writing it up. sam had also come back from montreal this weekend and we went to Ten Ren's to get some sam-time in before he headed back for the quebecois. sleptover at emily's again because my parents drove my sister to nyc. and i don't want to be home alone. thank goodness for emily and her mom taking in the refugee.

now, it's monday (well, tuesday morning) and i think it's time for bed. i went back to my placement today and taught a lesson on cars. it was tremendously fun. we also watched a short TSO performance. let's just say, i don't want to be back in school. give me one more week... :)

well, i'm off until a later time.