i'm due for an update. i'm exhausted. i'm tired... but thank goodness it's Friday.

so, i only have 2 weeks left in this school year. my marks are low... school is busy... and so are ministries. why do all these things happen at the same time? i really wish that i could go lazing around and just relax. like, i realized just today that i haven't even had time to look at other people's blogs. i haven't even been able to sit at home and enjoy TV or my own computer. BUT i have been enjoying people's company at the library.

just to update you on my life....
nom com - finally over. endless discussions. endless confrontations. endless prayers. and well, i know people aren't the happiest people in the world, but i trust that God has a plan for everyone. i think i learned a lot more from this year than i did last year, but i know it was still quite a trying process. let's just say if i'm here for another year, i WILL NOT do nom com again.

presentations/assignments - one presentation down. one more to go (wed). and then i originally had a research paper due thursday, but i got an extension. i think this is the first extension i've ever gotten in University. all the other times, i got shot down. :( and i got a lab back that was 15% lower than Steph's mark. it's a decent mark... but to think, i checked all my answers too.... :(

fellowship - cooking contest tomorrow. so that means lots of planning tonight and cooking tomorrow. then only a few more weeks left... oh dear.

overcomer - i'm going to train some people on Sunday. though i think i should wash my hands of this publication. haha, i'm kidding. i really love it still... it's more of a blessing than an agony.

queen's friends - i originally wanted to go to new york and had planned everything out... but now, we might just go on a surfing trip instead. the price goes up, but it does sound fun. i spent too much library time researching on it and i went to a travel agent to talk about it so now... my head hurts.

home - i won't be home in toronto for a while. with all this work and ministry, i think i'm screwed if i go home.

summer - i have no plans. someone find me hook-ups to work at a shift job. i'll work in retail, banks, Staples, Shopper's... anywhere but fastfood restaurants.

what can i say? i have a lot on my mind. what i want most though is your prayers. going through a rough time being so busy. i really need some comfort and resilience. send me an e-mail or leave me a msg... calling would probably be too difficult 'cuz i won't be home anyways and if i am home, i'd prolly want to sleep. so yeah... please pray for these last couple weeks...

- melo.

I got this off my friend (Daniel)'s blog. Watch it. It nearly made me cry... but then again, I think I'm PMSing.

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/41491/black_drawings/

Challenges me to see children in a different way. :)

kccf retreat - Basic Training: Blood, Sweat and Tears

so i can't sleep. talking to friends has kept me up... this hasn't happened since my first year. i used to stay up for endless hours talking online to friends. and tonight is one of the first times i've done it since then. regardless, i can't blog quite about those things yet. i think i'm blogging b/c i'm sick of seeing my last post b/c now, i feel as though i've overcome the novelty of it all. i KNOW how much my God loves me and now, i just feel so good...

i wanted to write about kccf retreat. my last here at Queen's. but really, i'm not to sad about that. what i'm sad about is my fellowship... that shall come in a later post.

we had dominic russo from Embassy in Waterloo come over and share with us. although it took a lot of adjusting to for me to identify with him b/c i'm so traditional... (like i rarely ever hear a sermon with jokes in it... except for at KCAC worship until andy)... i finally picked up on God's msg to me.

i think this year, Retreat has been dubbed cliquey.. but the more i think about it... Retreat is really about God and finding God's heart and msg for you. don't get me wrong, i loved my small group (HI VIV, SAMMI H., JENNY, ALICIA, MELISSA!) but i think i love it more when i know that they are growing more in tune with God's msg for them.

God basically reiterated and affirmed to me everything that I've been learning this year in 2006. if you've been keeping up with the things going on in my life, you'll know that God has stripped me bare.... naked to the bone. and i've been learning to let God put the clothes back on me...

this year, i took a year off from serving by the end of last year, i forgot the reason why i served. the only reason why i should serve. it should be out of my love for God... but i got caught up with obligations and responsibilities and forgot about God. but this year, i explored what it means to love God and God has blessed me with more opportunities to serve Him. honestly, i think it's one of the best decisions i've ever made in my life because really, i have been rejuvenated in my love for Him which makes serving Him even better. i've also been learning to hear God's voice speak in the gentle whisper, like how God talks to Elijah (I Kings 19:2), which we learned about in Bible Study. and that we need to understand the tears of the Father. i've been learning that since January. i thought i was unloved and abandoned and that there was no one else. as stated in my last blog, you'll see there there was ONE last resort. and that has been an encouragement that was reiterated at Retreat. God has really put peace in my heart!

i was talking to Joanie online about what i learned this year. i told her all the things that were on my heart this year... she said: "i never knew you were having such a hard time this year..."
and then it hit me. i'm not having a hard time. lessons were not meant to be easy, but they can be learned. thus, i replied: "i'm not having a hard time. it's actually quite soft. it is only when you're soft that you can be moulded by God." :) PRAISE GOD!

i'm scattered b/c i'm so tired. i hope this can make sense to you too... oh man. Good night!